Betsy Relishs Movies
less picky than the pickle

Short Takes

Small Soldiers
Maybe. Not as good as the previews. Some foul language.

Real people reviewers

Betsy Relish (40-something female computer geek with eclectic tastes--even likes musicals! The "I" in these pages);
Andre (40-something male in mental health, into philosophy, ecology, and deep meaning, provides foreign film report);
Gameboy (12-year-old male, into Nintendo and basketball).

Your opinions might also be included if you send email about movies you have seen, telling why you did or did not like them.

From the week of July 11, 1998

Small Soldiers
I found this movie disappointing--it didn't live up to the potential shown in the trailers. The special effects were excellent--the toys always looked like toys (never looking cartoony like the space monkey in Lost in Space). Andre declined to see this one, commenting "you'd have to drag me kicking and screaming". Gameboy was gung ho to see it, but by midway through had already announced it was "only so-so".

The theater was full of small fry, which was unfortunate, since the initial scenes contained unnecessarily foul language. There were lots of in-jokes for the adults (which of course the kids did not get). There are references to Patton and Frankenstein, among others. Although there was lots of violence, the successful attacks are against the plastic action figures. Attacks against the humans are played for laughs. All in all, it wasn't really any more scary than Toy Story.

Kirsten Duntz was refreshing as a liberated pre-teen (she wields a mean baton against the killer Barbies--excuse me "Gwendies". The dolls call it "the baton death march"--the worst pun of the entire movie). The cast of This is Spinal Tap did great at creating memorable voices for the Gorgonites. The "surviving cast" of The Dirty Dozen were forgettable as the voices of the Commandos (but Tommy Lee Jones really clicked as Major Chip Hazard). The Gorgonites were interesting and sympathetic (and the real stars of the movie), but we're never given a really good look at any except their leader, Archer. We get only a slightly better look at the Commandos, which is just as well since all except their leader, Major Chip Hazard, have distorted toothy grins that are vaguely disturbing. The Gorgonite replicas will definitely be the spin-off product of choice.

As a former computer graphics guru, it was a treat for me to see the realistic portrayal of stereolithography used to generate the toy prototypes.

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v2-7/11/98